T minus 7 days until Tough Times On Trains begins again. I have been spending free time plotting and planning. Google search “dive bars near me” for each city. Business cards designed for crackhore, business cards for my other businesses. Slowly packing but I’m as ready as I’ll be. I have been such a good little monster the last few […]

i think about her when i wake up and when i fall asleep to try to dream about her. I have to write about it, knowing no one reads this until I fucking open my wrists but I can’t pull the literal trigger. I can’t tell if she likes me or not but like that never stopped me before. Love […]

I think like almost 30 seconds after my last post I went and picked up M and we spent 2 days drinking vodka. I’ve dated…a lot, in my life and never have I tried to make it work so poorly with someone as this M. God, I wish I could go back to my early 30’s and tell myself like […]

Let’s take a big step back from this. I fucking hate this. I had some really high “ups” a few weeks ago. Working out several times a day, eating pure, feeling good. There is soImething to be said for embracing loneliness, just roll with it. I think that lasts around 2 weeks before it shatters but damn was that a […]

I felt good to type out tha title. Dude you are 43 years old, nothing about you is attractive, you have gotten amazing at faking it but like jesus christ. A and then R and then K, it’s obvious having a partner wasn’t part of..this. Whatever, just be sad, blah. lol whatever, stupid feelings, just sad lonely feelings, my destiny […]

So I decided to make all of the previous posts private. I have given my employees the order that they will all be made public when I die but for now, I think it’s time for a fresh start. I’m going to start writing on this web site daily again. I don’t really have any visitors anymore which is fine […]

i wish i could email michael in 2005 and tell him not to ever date anyone seriously ever again.

That’s right…”Patrick M” at my host helped me figure out why was going wrong with the site. Now i’m upgraded and i’m going to start writing fucking stupid tons of paragraphs on this site that no one reads because i stopped updating it…fuck you, everyone sit down, i’m only on slide 2 of this presentation. Patrick i wanna give you […]